What's It Really Like to Have Counselling With Me?
- lisa57142
- Aug 5
- 4 min read
People sometimes ask me what counselling with me is actually like.
I always smile a little when they do.
Because it's probably not quite what they imagine.
Yes, sometimes we're sitting in the chairs talking.
But sometimes we're sitting on the floor.
Sometimes we're holding a tiny cardboard suitcase.
Sometimes we're untangling a finger trap.
Sometimes we're rolling up a piece of paper or holding a rope.
If you've watched any of my videos, you'll probably recognise some of those props.
People often assume they're just for social media.
They're not.
They regularly find their way into the therapy room too.
Not because the props are the therapy.
But because sometimes experiencing something helps us understand ourselves in a way that words alone simply can't.
Counselling isn't about me having the answers
A misconception about therapy is that the counsellor somehow knows what to say.
That they have the answers.
That their role is to fix people.
I don't see my role that way.
For me, counselling is much more collaborative.
It's two people sitting together, becoming curious about what has been happening, noticing patterns that may have gone unnoticed for years, and gently exploring whether there might be another way of responding.
Sometimes that happens through conversation.
Sometimes through silence.
Sometimes through laughter.
Sometimes through tears.
Sometimes through a little cardboard suitcase that somehow says more than either of us could have managed with words alone.
Becoming curious instead of getting rid
Many of the people I meet arrive believing they need to get rid of something before life can begin again.
The anxiety.
The shame.
The grief.
The self-doubt.
The overthinking.
It's completely understandable.
After all, when something hurts, our natural instinct is often to make it stop.
But one of the things Acceptance and Commitment Therapy has taught me - both personally and professionally - is that fighting our inner world often keeps us caught inside it.
Instead of asking:
"How do I get rid of this?"
we begin asking:
"What happens if I become curious about it instead?"
That shift may sound small.
In practice, it can change everything.
Because curiosity creates space.
Space to notice.
Space to breathe.
Space to choose.
This isn't something I simply teach
People sometimes ask why I integrate Acceptance and Commitment Therapy alongside person-centred counselling.
The honest answer is that it isn't because I think it's a clever model.
It's because it reflects how I try to live my own life.
Life is difficult sometimes.
Mine too.
I still experience worry.
Loss.
Uncertainty.
Self-doubt.
The difference isn't that those experiences disappeared.
It's that I've learned a different way of relating to them.
Not perfectly.
Not all the time.
But with greater awareness.
Greater compassion.
And a growing understanding that difficult thoughts and feelings don't have to decide the direction of my life.
It's this way of being that I hope people discover for themselves.
Not by copying me.
But by finding what feels authentic and meaningful for them.
The moments I'll never stop feeling moved by
Some of the most meaningful moments in my work aren't when somebody suddenly feels happy.
Or confident.
Or "fixed".
They're often much quieter than that.
They're the moments when somebody who's sitting with very real pain says something like:
"I can still choose what matters today."
Or:
"I never realised I had a choice."
Or:
"The anxiety's still here... but I went anyway."
Those moments stay with me.
Because they're not about pretending everything is okay.
They're about somebody discovering that even with pain sitting beside them, they can still move towards the people, relationships and values that matter most.
For me, that's where counselling becomes something much bigger than simply reducing 'symptoms'.
It's about helping people discover a different way of being in relationship with themselves and with their lives.
And honestly...
Being invited to witness those moments remains one of the greatest privileges of what I do.
If you're considering counselling...
If you've been wondering whether counselling might help, you don't need to have reached crisis point before reaching out.
Sometimes the most meaningful work begins long before everything has fallen apart.
If you'd like to find out whether I'm the right counsellor for you, I offer a free Introduction Call. It's an opportunity to ask questions, find out more about how I work and decide, together, whether it feels like the right fit.
You might also find helpful
If you'd like to explore more of the metaphors I sometimes use in therapy, you might enjoy:
Why We Don't Have to Put the Suitcase Down - a reflection on grief, loss and learning to carry what matters with greater compassion.
When "I'm Not Enough" Becomes the Story You Live By - exploring the stories our mind tells us and how we can begin to loosen their grip.
When Life Changes But You Haven't Caught Up Yet - a simple mindfulness exercise for relating differently to difficult thoughts.
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